6 easy ways to make anyone say “Yes”

In his book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Dr. Robert Cialdini, lays down six principles that you can use to influence others. These principles are so powerful that they lead to automatic compliance where the victim does not even realise they are getting influenced.

Before we see these principles, it is important to understand why these principles work. In a normal day, we make thousands of decisions, each decision costs our body some energy and so to conserve energy and time, we have developed some routines or cognitive shortcuts that get activated on some cue. Usually these triggers are meant to save us time and make the right decisions in most cases, but these triggers can be hijacked by manipulators to cause automatic compliance.

Here are the 6 powerful principles for influencing-

A summary of the 6 principles. Source- readinggraphics.com

Reciprocity

We feel a strong obligation to give back. It is hard wired in humans to return generosity with generosity. This same principle has helped us to grow into the most powerful species on the planet because it enables wide scale collaboration and trust. In most of the human societies, not returning a favor is considered a non-desirable trait.

Some examples include

• Free Samples in malls- Sales agents offer you small free samples to use at home and after the free samples get over they call you to collect feedback. But you feel obligated to buy something from them because you accepted a freebie from them.

Another unique feature of this principle is the Rejection then retreat technique. First an extreme, almost ridiculous demand is made, which is obviously rejected but then a real doable demand is made. We take this as a concession provided to us and because of the principle of reciprocity we feel obligated to provide a concession ourselves.

Consistency and Commitment-

We want to appear consistent with what we have done and said in the past. People who keep their word and do what they say are considered more likeable and trustworthy than who people go back on their own words. Because these traits are considered as likeable in our society we have been wired from birth to keep our words.

Some ways in which this principle is used-

• Gym trainers see better results when the people make public commitments that they are going to reduce weight in 6 months. The more public the commitment, better the chances that we will follow through.
• Sales agents can conduct surveys and ask you questions like “Do you like to travel?”, “How often do you travel?”. Since its just a survey and because you want to come across as more adventurous to the sales agent, you might exaggerate the amount of travelling you do. Now, the sales agent make their move and offer you discounts on some travel packages. Since you have yourself committed that you like travelling you are more likely to buy the package.

Another important aspect of this principle is that once a commitment is made, it grows its own legs. Even after the initial inducement is removed, we continue to perform the activities because we want to be consistent to our new found identity and our past actions.

Social Proof

When we are uncertain on what the right action is we tend to imitiate the actions of people similar to us. It states that one means we use to determine what is correct is to find out what other people think is correct. The principle applies especially to the way we decide what constitutes correct behavior. We view a behavior as more correct in a given situation to the degree that we see others performing. Social Proof works better when 2 conditions are met- we are uncertain what the correct action is and the people who we imitate are similar to us in some fashion.

Some great examples include

• The reviews system on e-commerce websites like Amazon and Flipkart. We use these reviews to judge whether a product is good or bad.
• You will often find companies mentioning their number of customers and testimonials on their website. It is done to create a sense of social proof.

Liking

We tend to agree more with people whom we like. There are different ways which can us to like someone-

1. Physical Attractiveness- The reasons why most of the brands choose hot actors and actresses as their brand ambassadors.
2. Similarity- We tend to like people who are similar to us in some way. This similarity could be in interests, hobbies, opinions, age, sex etc.
3. Compliments- We love getting compliments even if they are not true. We perceive the making these compliments as more likeable.
4. Contact- We like things to which we are regularly exposed and are familiar with.
5. Cooperation- We like people who work with us instead of against us.

Some examples are-

1. We tend to vote for candidates who are similar to us in some way- same religion, same locality, same opinions etc.
2. We go to the same shop again and again because we have sense of familiarity.(Contact)

Scarcity

Some opportunities seem more valuable to us when their supply is limited. We have a sense of missing out on something great if we do not act quickly.(FOMO)

Some examples are-

1. Limited Time Offers- Think of deals extended by companies like Amazon that last for a day or two and there is a discount offered on some products. During this time, customers tend to buy stuff that they dont even need.
2. Limited Supply- Think of expensive cars like Rolls Royce. With the capital and resources at their disposal they can easily beef up their production and make many more cars than they do in a year. But doing so would make their cars just like any other mass manufactured car and the sense of pride and esteem that comes with something rare would vanish.

Authority

We tend to believe the so called “experts” of their fields or someone authoritative. From a very young age, we are taught to respect and show obedience to the authority- our parents, teachers, elders etc.

Some examples are-

1. Hospitals have a 12% daily error rate. This is because, nurses and junior doctors will very rarely challenge the decision made by an authoritative figure, despite receiving potentially lethal, or bizarre requests

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